As some of you may or may not know, I struggle from anxiety. As a 19-year-old girl, experiencing college and a full time job, it often makes me anxious to stray from work and school. Although anxiety acts as a roadblock between experiencing adventures, and me it also has taught me many things.

What anxiety prevents me from:

From things as big as moving, picking a school or picking a major, to things as little as eating at new places, making phone calls, or going out with friends.

I’ll stay in a terrible situation for as long as I possibly can if it means no confrontation, change, or new commitments.

“My favorite band is going on tour!?” Let me half try to get tickets because maybe I shouldn’t actually go because I would have to catch the train and then walk to the venue and also wait in line to get a spot in the crowd where I probably wouldn’t feel comfortable because there will be too many arms and elbows and I’d lose breathing space. I probably shouldn’t go. I have work the next day at 3pm anyway. “Those tickets were really hard to get a hold of…”

Sometimes I purposely cut off people who are starting to get close to me because I’m worried they’ll see me having an anxiety attack and then they’ll be afraid of me and look at me differently.

Simply because I shut down decisions without even making an attempt to evaluate them. I worry about what there would be to worry about before I get the chance to even worry about it. I’m sure that didn’t make any sense.

However, It has also taught me:

Nothing lasts forever. If I’m out, I’d rather be home safely because I’m worried about all the things I have to get done, or I’m worried about not being home because I might possibly maybe have an anxiety attack. It seems like the night is going on forever and I do whatever I possibly can to get home ASAP. But, in reality, I won’t be out forever. I tell myself, “You’ll see your bed and your to-do list eventually. Be present now!”

One of the tings I’ve been practicing is confidence. Because when I’m confident, I am more likely to take chances and take advantage of how good I feel.

One major pro of having anxiety: you’ll always be organized! I have about 4 planners and to-do lists. For me, a major adaptor is writing everything down.

If practicing yoga each morning didn’t keep my anxiety under control, I probably would never do it.

A lot of people don’t know that I have anxiety. So, when I’m quiet or distant, who ever I’m with assumes I’m angry or upset. They never would guess that I’m trying to focus on my breathing because I feel anxious for no apparent reason. I don’t take everything so personally anymore. Everyone has his or her internal emotional moments.